dear friend,

hello!! i have to sing a solo today infront of a large crowd w/ back up singers aka my choir. i am very excited/nervous/anxious/terrified. i have buterflues inmy stomach just think about it ahh like me? singing a damn solo. no this can;t be happening first i’m shy haaha not really but i don;t  really sing infront of people. please tell me ill do well. haha well i have a field trup tommorow!!!!! and i have sucky people in my group but that’s okay i really don’t care…

nervous,

~m.

dear friend,

 HAPPY ONE YEAR OF HAVING TUMBLR.

i love this fukcing websity.

love,

~m.

dear friend,

this may be my last post in awhile but basically everything in my life is going haywire. i’m so fucking sick of everything and i hope i die soonn. also i almost died this morning, (long story) and i just wish it would’ve happened. i’m so damn depressed i just hate everthing. i want to die. i want to die. everything in my life is just so wrong. in the mean time i’ll just cry and try to be positive.

kill me pls,

~m.

dear friend, 

i always imagined that it would get better right? but ti’s getting worse and idk how i can possible help myself, i’m on the verge of insanity. i think i’m REALLY getting hurt w/ my thumb :( i’m really sad ugh.. i just hope it gets bettwe and i miss what;s his face so much. ily and i’ll post more :(

sad,

~m.

dear friend,

hi i get to get out of my core classes tmmorow sory can’t spell rigt noow. i srta have an obsession with biting my skin (thumb) it’s getting bad. um i’m getting ver addicted to the internet and losing sleep. um school is going ok i got my grades up and yeh math is easy so . i’m just fine. people r still mean, nothing has chanfed. hoping fot he best excpecting the woest

drunkkk,

~m. 

guys i’m so scared for our generation to be parents but at the same time i’m not i think we’ll be kick ass parents and understand our children but then again we’re all pretty much fucked up too so idk it’s 2 AM here so sorry

happy birthday to my baby zayn. i love him so so much. :)

i wasn’t excited to go back to school, and one of the reasons is this. please bear with me but i promise i’ll try to go fast. so i was at my schools library trying to kill time and i was getting in line to get a book and this little boy in front of me that was probably 10 was getting harassed by these boys because of his shoes. this is what got me, they were indeed beautiful shoes, BUT they were making fun of him because he didn’t know what basketball player it was customized by and they were shouting out such obscene things to him. my voice was shaking the whole time i was yelling. i told them to stop and i told them how immature they were, and the poor boy didn’t even know what either of us were saying, because he just came to america three months ago. i’m shaking you guys this is NOT okay. this bullying needs to stop. i’m going to go to the office tommorow and discuss this with someone because that poor boy didn’t deserve any of that. i know bullying happens everyday, and it shouldn’t be. i’m sorry i jut wanted to share this because my hands are shaking and jfdskads;lfadskl. i just felt so proud of myself, who knew a quiet girl with depression and major anxiety problems could stand up for someone. the whole library was cheering. i’m just…. lost at words. 

so folks what i’m saying is if you see someone getting bullied, don’t just stand their….DO SOMETHING. 

2012’s ass shouldve ended earlier fucking sick of that shit year - happy new years

Cross off what you’ve done: In 2012

Gotten a new piercing.
Dyed my hair.
Ended a relationship.
Started a new relationship. 
Been on a long car/bus journey.
Passed an exam.
Met someone who’s now an important part of my life.
Cried on someone’s shoulder.
Had a massive fight with a boy/girl.
Received flowers.
Had a Valentine.
Written a letter using pen & paper.
Gone to see a therapist
Been prescribed medication by a doctor.
Read a really good book.
Gone to the zoo.
Spent too much money on unnecessary things.
Traveled by train.
Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
Spent the day out in the sun getting a tan
Slammed a door out of frustration.
Had an anxiety attack.
Babysat for a friend’s child.
Had a BBQ
Gone to the fair.
Gone bowling.
Seen a film at the cinema in 3D.
Gone on a date.
Helped someone home after they had been drinking.
Stayed up all night.
Talked on the phone for over two hours. 
Supported someone who’d received bad news.
Watched some kind of live sporting event. 
Read an entire book in one day.
Bought a DVD the day it was released.
Eaten McDonald’s more than four times in a single week.
Cried as a result of exam stress.
Met some incredible new people.
Gone to great parties.
Fallen backwards off a chair.
Broken my glasses.
Worn a watch for the first time in years.
Cried over someone in my past.
Spent hours aimlessly browsing the internet.
Thrown up.
Cried over a film.
Gone out of my way to avoid an ex-boy/girlfriend.
Fought with someone in public.
Been in a relationship for a year or longer. 
Cried in front of someone I adore.
Lost one of my closest friends.

dear friend,

happy new years. happy happpy happy new years. i hated hated hated 2012 it was such a shitty ass year…… but at the same time it was wonderful i’m cackling actually. kony? cinnamon challenge? gangnam? we can’t forget everyone falling for 1D, discovering lana, crying. oh goll. seeing him for the first time in years. i mean damn this year was crazy. honestly, i just want to thank all of my followers for putting up with my shitty ass moaning bitching in my posts. i’m sorry. but you guys… were nice… although none of you guys spoke to me :) haha well anyways thanks thanks for an awesome year. if it was for you tumblr i would’ve killed myself.

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE I LOVE ALL OF YOU.

you saved me,

~m.

dear friend,

so many things have happened. oh my gosh, i’ll have to make two posts! how are you? i’m ok. i guess but our computer got taken away and my mom doesn’t even know im on i’m like shaking ahhh but yeah it was a very evenful/shitty break ah but i’m basically always on twitter so I never eve make posts, sorry baby! :((((((((( i love you so much tumblr tho don’t get me wrng. i’m so tired… i  got ok gradesss :(

love me,

~m.

dear friend,

heey just listening to some 1D how are you??? I skipped mosque today…. they changed the rules to 2-7…. um no thanks.. haha but i”m bored and the 1D fandom is fuckedd up… haha… idk why am i making a post asjkdasklasdl

ill,

~m.

dear friend,

i’m not feeling well. i think i came a cross with a cold.. i have a stuffed up nose and a terrible cough. my head hurts and i had to take a medication that tasted like tar. blech. anyways. it was a friday, and fridays should be good days but they aren’t. and the weekends should be great to but they’re not. well… how are ya? fine? well? i fucked up massively on my project. dear god, please help me. idk what’s happenin this shit isn’t cool i’m so sad. why is life so stressin? whyyyy?

sick,

~m.

dear friend,

hi… how are you?? i’m fine, i guess??? i have a big project due tommoroow, and guess what? I haven’t started…. so I’m screwed oh well.. i’m going to get started on my math homework in a bit haha!!! i’m such a fucking joke. like, I hope for something and it never happens?? oh well… i know it’s not going to happen?? but i’ll still hope… CUTE BOY ALERTTT - ugh. ugh. ugh. i just wish he wasn’t so shyy

hoping,

~m.